IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

It is more important to use the space in cities well than make them look beautiful. To what extent do you agree?

#space #cities
There is an opinion that a
towns’
Change noun form
town’s
show examples
space
 should be useful rather than attractive. I am totally convinced that
such
approach
Correct article usage
an approach
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have
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has
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a
Remove the article
apply
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plenty of advantages which are going to be outlined in
this
 essay below. The
first
 argument in favour of the opinion that I support is that it is more comfortable for citizens to have every important building in one place in the city. As a matter of fact,
people
 are likely to spend
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 hours and money on trips doing their daily routine.
Furthermore
, that approach can reduce individuals’ tiredness
due to
Change preposition
apply
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which their work productivity will raise.
Therefore
, that kind of approach will be more valuable for
people
 while having different beautiful stuff
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not have
such
sence
Correct your spelling
sense
 for employees. The
second
 argument in favour of
the
Correct your spelling
this
show examples
 view is the fact that it is easier and cheaper for governments to fill all the free
space
 with different necessary surroundings
such
 as shops or cafes. To be more specific, city officials do not need to overthink whether these
buildings
Add a verb
arebuildings
werebuildings
show examples
 beautiful for
people
 or not.
Moreover
, creating a special design to fill city
space
 requires a qualified team of designers who are responsible for creating
such
 stuff. Undoubtedly, it will take more
expences
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
 from governments along with rising
the
Correct article usage
apply
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taxes among the citizens. To conclude, some
people
 believe that it is vital to use
cities’
Change noun form
cities
show examples
space
 wisely than just try to make them more stylish. From my perspective, that opinion is true due to the fact that there are an enormous number of upsides which could be useful to make
people
’s lives better.
Submitted by nejo.quol on

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