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Band 7.5

Many people aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #aim #development #values
A growing number of
people
 seek the improvement of their living
standards
.
However
, due to economic advancement,
people
 face the loss of something socially important.
Although
 in my opinion, the downside of economic development greatly outweighs its upside because
people
 can spend little
time
 with their families. On the one hand, financial success may bring about a happy life.
This
 is because
people
 normally feel delighted when they can obtain something in the exchange for money.
For instance
, many
people
 enjoy shopping, which enables
people
 to not only relieve stress but
also
 make them delighted.
However
, I disagree with
this
 opinion as money can bring only temporary happiness,
therefore
 it can enhance living
standards
 for a certain period.
On the other hand
, economic development does not always improve living
standards
 in terms of
time
.
This
 is because, in order to receive a high salary, hard work cannot be dodged, and
people
 find it difficult to juggle between family and occupation.
Consequently
, they can spend little
time
 with their loved ones.
Thus
, without spending hours with their family, it is impossible for
people
 to live happily. To illustrate, Japan has a higher rate of suicide, even though citizens have developed their living
standards
. I completely agree with
this
 view because a person cannot lead a happy life without sharing priceless
time
 with their family. To conclude, even though economic advancement can contribute to improving
people
's living
standards
 because it enables
people
 to spend fortunes on shopping, I believe that the drawback of
this
 greatly overwhelms its positive because
people
 cannot improve their quality of life without spending hours with their loved ones.
Submitted by u6u2sg29 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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