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Band 6.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #music #culture #ages
There is no doubt about the fact that
music
 is a crucial part of
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 life .
However
 , there are some who opine that
music
 is the best way to bring masses of different customs and ages together. In a subsequent , paragraph I intended to shed light on the given topic with proper illustrations and an appropriate conclusion. Analysing the statement and explaining
further
 , the
first
 and foremost reason is that flok can meet one another in concerts . By
this
Add a comma
,this
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 I mean that if a famous singer arranges
live
Correct article usage
a live
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 show
in
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
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 era
then
people
 of different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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 and age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 will come to
see
Correct pronoun usage
themsee
himsee
hersee
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 , so it gives
chance
Correct article usage
the chance
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 to
public
Add an article
the public
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 to talk and make friends .
For example
 ,
the
Correct word choice
if the
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 popular
indian
Change the capitalization
Indian
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 singer
arijit
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Arijit
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singh
Change the capitalization
Singh
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 performs in concert
then
 many
people
 from
Correct article usage
the muslim
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muslim
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Muslim
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 and
hindu
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Hindu
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religion
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religions
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 will visit it.
Secondly
 , communication with each other would make good bonds between them .
In addition
 to
this
 , folk can share their opinions on lyrics as well as talk about their favourite songs .
Furthermore
 ,
this
 gives an opportunity to
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 for being united.
On the other hand
 , some
people
 prefer to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
 songs
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
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 by their meaning , so
this
 proves that they like melody .
Moreover
 , there are many
music
 albums in various languages , which flok do not prefer because they want to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
 the
music
 of their own language.
For instance
 , if a foreign single sing a song
then
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 not understands
english
Change the capitalization
English
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 will avoid
to listen
Change the verb form
listening
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.
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
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, I indeed think that
music
 can bring the public of many customs and ages together because
the
Correct article usage
a
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 number of
people
love
Change the verb form
loves
show examples
 to
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
 it.
Submitted by pyash5245 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural diversity
  • harmony
  • integration
  • bridging gaps
  • foster
  • ignite
  • embrace
  • communicate
  • celebrate
  • appreciate
  • inclusivity
  • universal language
  • emotional resonance
  • shared experiences
  • intercultural dialogue
  • intergenerational connections
  • cultural exchange
  • catalyst
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