IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Most people accept that we now live in a globalized world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. To what extent is globalization a positive or negative development.

#people #world #globalization #development
Some individuals think that the world convert into a village due to the development of modern technology while others think
this
 is not good for any nation in the world. My opinion on above mention statement is quite different as I believe that globalization has both advantages and disadvantages.
As a result
 of globalisation come smaller
people
 who live in one corner be able to communicate with other
people
 who live in another corner.
However
, diseases are rapidly spread all over the
countries
 during short periods due to
foremost
Correct article usage
the foremost
show examples
 reasons. In the past, there were no developed transportation and communication techniques used. Now
people
 share their knowledge, ideas and technology to improve their quality of living.
On the other hand
, in any incident occurred anywhere within a few minutes it flies all over the nation. As an example, in emergencies happen like tsunamis authorities have facilities to inform
that other
Change the determiner
that other country
those other countries
show examples
countries
 which are get affected and save lots of lives from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
disasters. Despite above mention ideas, many communicable diseases can spread to all the
countries
 due to close contact among nabor
countries
. A clear example we experienced was Corona pandemic.To stop the spreading authorities introduced travel distractions.
Finally
, I conclude that, when considering the above factors, globalization has many pros and cons.
Therefore
, as
people
 who live on earth, we have to apply these wisely.
Submitted by dinilsemiya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: