Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Should the
retirement
age
be increased?
People
have contrasting opinions as one group of them suggests: as the
people
live longer nowadays,
therefore
retirement
age
should be raised.
However
, I fully disagree with
such
mind setup. In
this
essay, I shall document two basic reasons to oppose their idea.
First
, because life at work is full of stresses and hardworks,
therefore
, I believe,
people
may start dying sooner if the pressure of work does not go away at the
age
of sixty, the current
retirement
age
. Quite recently, it has been observed and reported frequently by the media that the environment at job is becoming more and more stressed, and because of that many
people
are suffering from depression and high blood pressure which may lead towards demise if they are not pulled out of
such
toxic situation at the standard
age
as after 60s the human organs become weaker and may not be able to bear the burden of job.
Secondly
, I believe humans are not machines who do not need time to enjoy with their friends and family members. As both parents are working persons and nobody is there to look after the young children as they are sent to nannies who do not have any blood relation to them and naturally cannot have a sincere and loveable affections towards kids,
therefore
the older
people
may take care of their grandchildren in a best possible way, with full of love and care.
Moreover
, taking care of their grandchildren goes two ways: kids may be brought up by the most responsible person;
likewise
the older
people
may not suffer from loneliness;
hence
it is fruitfull for both parties. Summing up, the current
retirement
age
is a best fit for everybody and should not be increased at all to have a healthy society.
Submitted by i.linguist1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: