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Band 7

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work
Should the
retirement
age
 be increased?
People
 have contrasting opinions as one group of them suggests: as the
people
 live longer nowadays,
therefore
retirement
age
 should be raised.
However
, I fully disagree with
such
 mind setup. In
this
 essay, I shall document two basic reasons to oppose their idea.
First
, because life at work is full of stresses and hardworks,
therefore
, I believe,
people
 may start dying sooner if the pressure of work does not go away at the
age
 of sixty, the current
retirement
age
. Quite recently, it has been observed and reported frequently by the media that the environment at job is becoming more and more stressed, and because of that many
people
 are suffering from depression and high blood pressure which may lead towards demise if they are not pulled out of
such
 toxic situation at the standard
age
 as after 60s the human organs become weaker and may not be able to bear the burden of job.
Secondly
, I believe humans are not machines who do not need time to enjoy with their friends and family members. As both parents are working persons and nobody is there to look after the young children as they are sent to nannies who do not have any blood relation to them and naturally cannot have a sincere and loveable affections towards kids,
therefore
 the older
people
 may take care of their grandchildren in a best possible way, with full of love and care.
Moreover
, taking care of their grandchildren goes two ways: kids may be brought up by the most responsible person;
likewise
 the older
people
 may not suffer from loneliness;
hence
 it is fruitfull for both parties. Summing up, the current
retirement
age
 is a best fit for everybody and should not be increased at all to have a healthy society.
Submitted by i.linguist1 on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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