IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that wild animals should not be kept in zoos or other man-made environments as there is no longer a need for them in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree

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Some believe that in the 21st century, we should keep wild
animals
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 where they belong
instead
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 of in a zoo or an artificial habitat. Personally, I believe that we should not keep wild
animals
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 away from their natural living environment. In the essay, I will elaborate on the reason why I believe zoos and man-made environments are no longer needed in the 21st century.
Firstly
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, through research and studies, we find that different types of
animals
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 have their own specific ways of life.
This
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 includes the food they eat and the environment they tend to live in.
However
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, each animal
also
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 has unique personalities and preferences of their own just as humans do.
Animals
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 should have the freedom to choose where they would like to live and what they would like to eat as well.
Secondly
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, I believe respecting animal nature is very important.
Animals
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 are born with different features and have evolved and gained their strength through evolution.
Animals
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 learned to use their gifted features as a tool to develop ways of survival and find the most suitable ways to live for themselves.
In addition
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, keeping wild
animals
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 in the place they belong allows them to continue to evolve naturally. Without predators,
animals
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 kept in artificial environments gradually lose their survival skills and natural instincts. To sum up, I agree with those who believe that wild
animals
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 should not be kept in a zoo or man-made habitats in the 21st century.
Animals
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 should be able to live freely and find their own sense of belonging through their gifted features.
This
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 allows
animals
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 to evolve naturally and gain survival skills.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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