IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some infomation is too important or too valueable to be shared freely.

#people #information #research #business #world #infomation #valueable
Recently, sharing
information
 freely or not has become a pressing issue about which
people
 hold different views. Supporters believe that sharing
information
such
 as scientific research, business and the academic world can benefit many
people
.
However
, critics claim that freely sharing rare
information
 may be very dangerous. Before offering my opinion, I think it is essential to look at the arguments for and against the statement.
First
 of all, let's take a look at the supporter's point of view. They have long held that sharing
information
 can help different social class
people
 to learn more knowledge and improve themselves, especially at the grassroots. If
people
 get free materials that make their life more convenient
such
 as gaining medical and technical
information
.
For example
, during the pandemic of Covid-19,
people
 can through free medicine reports understand the consequences of infecting
this
 disease, and
also
 know how to protect themselves, which can avoid the pandemic spread out. Now let’s move to the opponents’ side, and elaborate on their position. They believe that important
information
 shared freely will cause big problems, like
people
 may use the
information
 in an illegal way.
For instance
, when
people
 gain free technical
information
, they can copy the skills and sales, which will destroy the copyright, and some company not willing to invest in research and development on new technology.
Moreover
, some scientific research is help countries develop militaries to protect
people
. When
this
information
 is got by the bad guys it will have a bad effect on the world. From what has been discussed above, we can tell that both sides have their arguments. I would rather side with not sharing the
information
 freely.
Although
 free data can help
people
 to have a better life, I think keeping important
information
 confidential or need to pay the cost to gain it can prevent irreversible consequences.
Submitted by lynnkwong40 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: