There are many female students who finish degrees in science and technology courses at university, but few move into the workplace after they graduate. Why is this? What measures can be taken to encourage them into work?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Female students who have finished technology education and science degrees, not all of them are applying for a job. The reasons for
this
might be
such
as stereotypes and societal pressure, lack of role models and lack of support. Many females with technical or scientific degrees do not work in their fields, and
this
can be attributed to several factors.
Firstly
, societal stereotypes often discourage females from pursuing careers in male-dominated industries.
For instance
, they may face biases at work or feel undervalued, which affects their confidence and course choices.
Secondly
, the lack of female role models in STEM professions
further
discourages women. Without examples of success to follow, it becomes harder to envision long-term progress in these fields.
Furthermore
, many technical jobs demand long hours, making it difficult to balance work and family responsibilities, especially in societies where people are expected to prioritize the latter.
In addition
, systemic barriers like discrimination and limited career advancement opportunities often push people to seek other professions.
On the other hand
, some women discover new interests during or after their studies and choose to pursue careers in areas they find more fulfilling. In conclusion, a combination of societal expectations, work-life balance challenges, and personal interests often leads women to change career paths. To address
this
, it is crucial to create supportive environments, challenge stereotypes, and promote equal opportunities in STEM.
Submitted by aluagabitova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
While the essay provides a strong response to the task, it would benefit from more specific examples to further illustrate the points made, particularly in addressing possible measures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to enhance the flow of ideas, perhaps by using more linking words.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the response.
Task Achievement
The ideas are comprehensively developed and clearly communicated, addressing both reasons and measures as required by the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender stereotypes
  • societal beliefs
  • recruitment process
  • work-life balance
  • career advancement
  • gender biases
  • mentorship opportunities
  • salary disparities
  • role models
  • financial compensation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: