IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think the education will not work. Disscuss both views and give your opinion.

#scientists #people #health #junk #food #education #work #disscuss
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are two types of human which think that eating
education
 to quit intake much
junk
food
 is important and others it is no need for us.
This
 essay aims to elaborate on the reason why the aforementioned is integral or not , and after, I describe my
opinion
. On the hand, the reason why some
people
 assert to educate that it is not good to excessively eating of
junk
food
 is that maybe
people
 believe that if the public has that know-how, they get the possibility to avoid eating unhealthy
food
 in order to spend fit life for future.
In other words
,
this
opinion
 supported
people
 who have thought that too eating is caused by a person who does not have
knowledge
 of health. To illustrate, in cases
such
people
 who hope to long alive even if they do not hesitate to accomplish that target will avoid eating
junk
food
 when they get that
knowledge
.
Therefore
 they appeal to the need for
education
 for meals.
On the other hand
, some
people
 are existing who want to eat what they hoped, and continue to eat even if they have known that to intake of
junk
food
 is worth it for their bodies. They seek eating freedom to fulfil their requirements.
This
 is because, that type of person seems that if comparing young and old generation's value of time, they have felt that the before is more important because ,
as a result
, most
people
 become not moving what they want. Even if given an
education
 on a good balance of meals, they are
last
 to eat
junk
food
.
Thus
 they do not very agree that
education
 about eating is useful. By the way, from my perspective, it is important to have the
education
 to avoid eating too much
junk
food
.
This
 is because I have thought that it is better to spread the possibility to get
knowledge
 of fit meals.
Therefore
 I
also
 agree with the
first
 paragraph's
opinion
 too. In conclusion, I reiterate my view that two statements that it is essential to get
knowledge
 of healthy meal and they hope to eat what they want even if they lose their fit. And my
opinion
 is that healthy
food
education
 is necessary to increase the likelihood of long-term living.
Submitted by euler0279 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: