Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
That
sugar
is harmful when it is taken more than usual is an undeniable fact. In spite of this
fact, many companies produce products
that consist of a lot of sugar
. Whether increasing the price of these kinds of products
to make people
stay away from sugar
or not is a controversial idea. I completely disagree with this
opinion and think they shouldn’t be more expensive.
First of all, I believe that many people
tend to purchase more expensive products
when it comes to eating because they think higher-priced foods are more delicious. Additionally
, it may be more attractive to people
when it is unreachable. For example
, I generally choose the big burgers outside when I want to be satisfied and I look for the expensive ones. In my opinion, many people
are doing the same. Therefore
, it is not a good idea to make not cheap the foods.
Secondly
, according to
me, many cheap manufactured foods are more dangerous for human health since they include many destructive ingredients. Hence
, if the costs are increased, many people
will go for the cheap products
ignoring the danger also
. For instance
, a family who is trying to live under difficult conditions would always buy reasonable products
for their children. That’s why higher prices could have more demolishing effects on people
.
To conclude
, I totally disagree with this
argument. Encouraging people
to consume less sugar
is a good idea but, higher prices are not. However
, governments can consider other options for human health.Submitted by abdullahsakirsimsek on
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task response
The ideas are generally clear but can be enhanced by providing more specific examples to better support the arguments. Try to replace vague or general examples with concrete ones.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence and cohesion by using a wider range of cohesive devices and connectors. This will help in linking your ideas more smoothly and improving the flow of your essay.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong and clearly state your position on the topic.
logical structure
You have a logical structure in your essay, with each paragraph addressing a specific point.
task achievement
You have successfully identified and explained the reasons why increasing prices may not be effective in reducing sugar consumption.