Many customs and traditional ways of behaviors are no longer relevant to the modern life and no worth keeping. Do you agree or disagree?

In
this
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contemporary epoch, there is a widely held perception in many parts of the world these days that customs and
traditions
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have become irrelevant to
this
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fast-paced life.
Although
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there are certainly valid arguments to the contrary, I personally believe that
nations
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' cultural heritage requires amelioration for the sake of better relations within
nations
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and families. In
this
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essay, 2 of the primary reasons why I totally agree with the need for a change in traditional ways of thinking will be
further
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elaborated. To
embark
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begin
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on
Change preposition
with
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,
Correct article usage
the
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first and
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also
Rephrase
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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most crucial reason relates to the fact that inherited
traditions
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have become an obstacle that hinders different people from various ethnic backgrounds from
socializing
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socialising
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.
In other words
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, if every nation tends to preserve its customs, the world will suffer from global wars ,particularly when obstacles between countries have blurred.
This
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can be witnessed by social media platforms
which
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, which
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permitted
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permit
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such
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fast transactions of information between various
nations
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.
Therefore
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, what can be said is that in order to cope with the requirements of
globalization
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globalisation
show examples
, the traditional ways of
behaviours
Fix the agreement mistake
behaviour
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ought to be drastically changed.
Furthermore
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, the undue keeping of inherited
traditions
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gives rise to conflicts among families since the current generation has a completely different way of thinking.
This
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means that when breadwinners start to change their obsolete thoughts, they will communicate more efficiently with their minors
and
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, and
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such
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a massive generation gap will be resolved. One particularly salient example of
this
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is parenting courses in which guardians are taught how to get rid of their old thoughts and become equipped and updated with the latest information.
Accordingly
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, in a final analysis, I would contend that since the current generation has special needs, custodians have to understand their needs. In conclusion,
after
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this
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essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that not only does the superfluous preservation of
traditions
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worsen the communication among
nations
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but
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, but
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also
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this
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occurs within families.
Thus
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, I am convinced that parents ought to tackle
this
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issue by attending children-rearing programs.

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task
Be clear in the opening. State your view in a simple sentence and set out the two or three ideas you will discuss.
coherence
Use fair link words to connect ideas and keep each paragraph focused on one main idea.
task
Give a concrete example that fits the point and explain how it supports your view.
style
Avoid long, hard-to-read sentences. Use short, simple sentences.
content
The writer takes a clear position and repeats it in the conclusion.
structure
Two central ideas are chosen and discussed in separate parts.
coherence
There are several linking words used to show cause and effect.
form
The essay ends with a restated view, tying the argument together.
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