IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always good to work hard?

Nowadays, the population who study or employ humans is working harder than others. A lot of people are searching for a full-time job because of their financial condition, which is a global problem for everyone. That might be good for experience , but not for health.
However
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, at the same time, I will share my point of view in the essay. First of all, some employees
work
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 harder than the rest staff because of the reward. What I mean by
this
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 is that at government jobs and at several offices , people who worked hard or completed their task more than other members, managers would raise their salary or placement.
For instance
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, individuals who enter the job will never stay at the same level, which means they can earn more money than they need
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 if they are going to
work
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 harder than other members.
However
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,
this
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 situation is not always easy. To clarify, some jobs require more than 2 or 3 years to
work
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.
In addition
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, they may give you a limited time to complete a difficult project task, and
that is
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 the reason why not everyone can handle
work
Use synonyms
 as hard as the rest population.
On the other hand
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, being harder working than the rest staff does not always benefit individuals. To explain, students or staff members who decide to
work
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 harder than others to achieve something might not get what they think. As an illustration, students are probably stressed about their future, which is the biggest issue in the world.
Furthermore
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, working harder than colleagues or classmates does not bring success to their lives. What I am going to clarify is that humans can find a better way or lifestyle that they want, because health is priceless. What I will give as an example is that in the present young generation, it is not as healthy as the past because of depression. In a nutshell,
although
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 there are many benefits to working hard, I firmly believe that working harder is not good for people’s health, which harms human nerves
while
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 being stressed.

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task response
Be clear on your view at the start. Say yes or no to 'Is it good to work hard?' and give a short reason. Keep to the topic and finish with a closing idea.
coherence
Make each paragraph begin with a simple sentence that shows the main idea. Use easy links to move from one idea to the next.
language
Use simple, correct grammar. Check punctuation and plural marks, and avoid long, run‑on sentences.
content
Give one or two clear examples that match your point. Use easy, real life facts or events.
structure
Finish with a short ending that restates your main view.
idea
The idea of health and effort is shown in a good way.
structure
The essay has a clear main topic that relates to the question.
content
Some parts use examples to explain the point.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Work ethic
  • Upbringing
  • Cultural values
  • Ambitions
  • Motivated
  • Fear of failure
  • Competitive nature
  • Overworking
  • Burnout
  • Stress-related health issues
  • Productivity
  • Quality of life
  • Healthy balance
  • Long-term productivity
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