Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
believe that the
competition
Use synonyms
will be encouraged by
children
Use synonyms
. Whereas other
people
Use synonyms
consider that teamwork is more helpful.
Although
Linking Words
competition
Use synonyms
has certainly benefit's, teaching
children
Use synonyms
to work with each other has more merits. The contest gives
children
Use synonyms
full of energy. Because they feel that they are better than others and get encouraged to participate in another
competition
Use synonyms
. ,
Also
Linking Words
it motivates the
children
Use synonyms
to study more and more.
In addition
Linking Words
, wishing to be more good than others is unlimited. Since victory affects the
person
Use synonyms
to be addicted.
Therefore
Linking Words
they stressed to be perfect and just think about they should be the best.
Competition
Use synonyms
may create lonely, egotistical and stressed
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, my cousin is a very hard-working
person
Use synonyms
and she always told her parents that she should be the best of all. As a
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
result she became an introverted and lonely
person
Use synonyms
. Co-operating is a good qualification that a
person
Use synonyms
must have because today's society is built upon collaboration skills.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
needs for future careers and life.
Therefore
Linking Words
teamwork is a vital skill that
children
Use synonyms
should be taught in primary school through their parents, and educators combined efforts.
This
Linking Words
helps us to learn to communicate and help each other in the work field.
For instance
Linking Words
, the subject
children
Use synonyms
could not do can be supported by others and they can improve their scores. All in all,
Competition
Use synonyms
gives us the desire to do more efficient work and helps us to learn anything by ourselves, co-operating can take chance to reach big success than working alone. Because it's a communication society
people
Use synonyms
need to support each other.
Submitted by Naran on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
What to do next:
Look at other essays: