All children should be made to wear school uniform. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's world, I firmly believe that
children
need
school
uniforms. Because the
school
uniform
equalizes the rights of
children
at
school
and does not separate them. Wearing a
school
uniform
shows
children
discipline and compliance with
school
rules.Wearing a
school
uniform
is very important and it shows who the
children
are at
school
. On the one hand, the main reason I agree with
this
idea is that wearing a
school
uniform
means that the
children
in the
school
have equal rights, and all
children
dress the same.
In addition
,
children
begin to see themselves as part of society. The reason is that when they wear the
school
uniform
, they feel proud because in our country, attention is very high for
school
students
. It
also
helps
children
to do their schoolwork because the
school
uniform
is clear and
children
don't have to think about what to wear and spend more time preparing lessons.
For example
, if the
school
uniform
is not clear and
students
wear the clothes they want, they will have less time to do schoolwork because they will think more about what to wear.
On the other hand
,does not help
children
to show themselves as individuals. Because they spend a lot of time getting dressed.
In addition
,
children
often fight with their parents for clothes.
For example
, if one student wears different clothes than the
school
uniform
, it can attract the attention of many
students
.
This
leads to
students
' attention being divided during the lesson and not mastering the lesson well.
To sum up
,I totally agree that
children
should wear
school
uniforms. It is
also
very important for the equality of
children
in
school
and their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
In addition
, it is financially beneficial to parents.
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task response
Your essay provides a well-structured response with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, ensure that your content directly addresses the prompt and consider both sides of the argument in detail.
coherence cohesion
You have shown good coherence and cohesion in the logical presentation of ideas and the use of cohesive devices, such as transitions and linking words. To improve, make sure your ideas are linked more explicitly and your points are supported with relevant examples.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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