All children should be made to wear school uniform. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today's world, I firmly believe that
children
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need
school
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uniforms. Because the
school
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uniform
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equalizes the rights of
children
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at
school
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and does not separate them. Wearing a
school
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uniform
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shows
children
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discipline and compliance with
school
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rules.Wearing a
school
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uniform
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is very important and it shows who the
children
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are at
school
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. On the one hand, the main reason I agree with
this
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idea is that wearing a
school
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uniform
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means that the
children
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in the
school
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have equal rights, and all
children
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dress the same.
In addition
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,
children
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begin to see themselves as part of society. The reason is that when they wear the
school
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uniform
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, they feel proud because in our country, attention is very high for
school
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students
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. It
also
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helps
children
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to do their schoolwork because the
school
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uniform
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is clear and
children
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don't have to think about what to wear and spend more time preparing lessons.
For example
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, if the
school
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uniform
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is not clear and
students
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wear the clothes they want, they will have less time to do schoolwork because they will think more about what to wear.
On the other hand
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,does not help
children
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to show themselves as individuals. Because they spend a lot of time getting dressed.
In addition
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,
children
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often fight with their parents for clothes.
For example
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, if one student wears different clothes than the
school
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uniform
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, it can attract the attention of many
students
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.
This
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leads to
students
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' attention being divided during the lesson and not mastering the lesson well.
To sum up
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,I totally agree that
children
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should wear
school
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uniforms. It is
also
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very important for the equality of
children
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in
school
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and their
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
In addition
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, it is financially beneficial to parents.
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task response
Your essay provides a well-structured response with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, ensure that your content directly addresses the prompt and consider both sides of the argument in detail.
coherence cohesion
You have shown good coherence and cohesion in the logical presentation of ideas and the use of cohesive devices, such as transitions and linking words. To improve, make sure your ideas are linked more explicitly and your points are supported with relevant examples.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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