Nowadays, most children prefer to spend several hours playing with electronic devices over doing more traditional leisure activities. What problem does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions?
The contemporary era witnesses an escalating inclination is observed in youngsters, as they manifest a predilection for dedicating extended hours to electronic gadgets, forsaking traditional recreational pursuits.
This
essay delves into the predicaments stemming from this
shift in leisure preferences and proposes, according to
my opinion, viable remedies to mitigate its detrimental ramifications.
Firstly
, excessive screen time often precipitates sedentary behaviour, contributing to a sedentary lifestyle and potential health concerns, encompassing obesity and musculoskeletal disorders. Physical endeavours like outdoor play, sports, and social interactions are relegated in favour of solitary digital engagements, resulting in a lack of physical well-being and overall
health. Additionally
, the overreliance on electronic devices can obstruct the cultivation of essential skills like critical thinking, creativity, and imagination, attributes that find cultivation through traditional activities like reading, puzzles, and arts and crafts. This
, in turn, hinders cognitive development.
Nevertheless
, schools can play a pivotal role by integrating digital literacy programs into the curriculum. Teaching children critical thinking and responsible digital behavior
equips them with the skills to navigate the online realm safely and make informed choices. Change the spelling
behaviour
Moreover
, society can establish communal spaces wherein children can partake in monitored recreational activities, encouraging physical play and genuine peer interactions. Lastly
, parents can establish clear guidelines on screen time, encouraging a healthy balance between digital entertainment and physical activities.
In conclusion, by addressing the adverse effects on physical and mental health and implementing a comprehensive strategy involving schools, society, and parents, I concur that attaining equilibrium between digital immersion and wholesome traditional leisure pursuits is indeed achievable.Submitted by ashissarker18 on
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and fulfill their purpose. However, aim to make the introduction more engaging and the conclusion a comprehensive summation of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Provide concrete examples to support your main points. This strengthens arguments and demonstrates real-world relevance, thereby enhancing task response.
task achievement
Effectively address all parts of the task. Develop a clear position throughout the response and support it with relevant examples. Strive for a deeper exploration of ideas rather than a cursory overview.
task achievement
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task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples that directly support the main ideas. This adds authenticity and persuasiveness to the arguments made.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
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Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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