Many people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #happiness #success #factors

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Numerous pupils believe that internal

happiness

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causes economic

success

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. But, others claim that feeling jubilant relies on other factors. In my, opinion

this

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concept has some advantages and a few disadvantages. In

this

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, essay we will

further

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elaborate on the positive and negative effects of

this

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trend and

thus

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will lead to a logical conclusion. There are myriads of reasons which will

further

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explain

this

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argument but the most preponderant fact is that it is related to human feeling and how they see what is happy

one

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sure example is that expensive products

such

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as cars, smartphones,

apartments

Correct word choice

and apartments

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are the main reason of personal

happiness

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. Another pivotal aspect is that it is undeniable fact that economic

success

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plays a vital role owing we buy anything with money

such

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Correct article usage

the result

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result

Add the preposition

inresult

fromresult

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new home, business, and, affluent lifestyle. Moving

further

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, it is pertinent to mention that the article published in the eminent newspaper Hindustan Times depicts that 75 per cent of individuals around the globe are happy because of economic

success

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However

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, there are some pitfalls that negate these arguments which can certainly overwhelm the potential influence of

this

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concept.

Although

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, the most alarming

one

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is that

third

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-world countries

such

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as India, Africa, and China are

also

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happy without economic

success

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One

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sure example is that most of the population lives below the poverty line.

Besides

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, they don't have basic fundamental resources

such

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as Water, food, electricity, and,

attires

Fix the agreement mistake

attire

show examples

Moreover

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, it is a misconception that money buys

happiness

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. countless other factors related to

happiness

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such

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as giving clothes, money, and, goods to poor people. a survey conducted by the prestigious university Oxford revealed that east nations

such

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as Bhutan, and, Afghanistan are extremely poor. Yet, the population rank

Change the article

the

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happiest country in the world. According to the argument aforementioned above,

one

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can reach the conclusion, that the perks of economic growth are instrumental indeed. The potential drawbacks of

this

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notion should not be overlooked either.

Submitted by naffey07 on Fri Jan 13 2023

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Many people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

In a recent years most of the youngsters are spending their valuable time on watching unnecessary things on television. However, there are pros and cons of this view and they will be discussed in this essay.

Some peple think that adverts control what we purchase, while others think they are useful sources of information of products. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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