IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The movement of people from agricultural areas to big cities caused problems im both palces. In your oponion, what is the reason for this problem? How can it be solved?

#movement #people #areas #cities #im #palces #oponion #reason
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Nowadays, many
people
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 immigrate to big
cities
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 from rural areas because they are looking for better working and living conditions.
This
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 situation causes too many problems for both
cities
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 and rural. I think if the government improves the whole country's economy,
people
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 don'
t
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 move to somewhere where they do not belong in.
First
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 of all, many
people
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 immigrate because they couldn'
t
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 get enough money in their hometown so, they are looking for jobs that have a higher salary. In the beginning,
people
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 dream about high-level life standards but the truth is, city life is more expensive than it used to be.
Moreover
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, agriculture is really important to the country's economy. Unless agricultural jobs' salaries are getting higher,
people
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 don'
t
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 continue. The government should provide
people
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 who are working on agricultural jobs so, production and those
people
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's incomes would become better. Plus, there is a big difference between metropole and agricultural areas lifestyles. When a person moves to metropoles, it would take much time to get used to. During
this
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 time,
this
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 person does not fit there and might be difficult for him/her and the
people
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 around. Authorities should define the
cities
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' population limits and
people
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 mustn'
t
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 be allowed to enter the
cities
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 without permission. Most
cities
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 are overcrowded
however
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,
people
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 still moving there.
Also
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, after they moved, they should learn about basic city rules because
otherwise
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, they would be an issue to others. To sum up, many
people
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 who live in rural areas are dreaming about a better life and they are moving to
cities
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 for earning a higher salary
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 situation causes many problems for many
people
Use synonyms
. These problems should be solved by the governments because they are chosen for
this
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.
Submitted by ebeyza34 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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