In many countries, more and more people buy a wider range of household goods like television, microwave oven and rice cooker. Do you think there are more pros than cons?

In
this
fast-developing age, more and more families prefer to buy a range of furniture in their homes because of the technological innovations of these
goods
. I consider
this
trend
is
Wrong verb form
to be
show examples
more than a blessing than a curse. Some may refute my points, putting forward that by using domestic
goods
, many
people
, especially youngsters fail to grasp basic living
skills
. When staying at home, most
people
prefer to use those
goods
to do household chores because of the significant convenience those
appliances
bring.
For instance
, they may prefer to utilize a vacuum rather than sweep the floor with brooms and consider a washing machine as a wonderful replacement for
hand-washing
Correct your spelling
hand washing
show examples
.
As a result
,
people
are scarce of the opportunity to practice these living
skills
, and
thus
cannot master those
skills
entirely.
This
is even more popular among teenagers, because if there is some housework left at home, their guardians tend to finish them, which means youngsters are
further
from these practising chances.
However
, on no account can we ignore the great merits of
this
trend
, perhaps the most obvious one being the great convenience. As technology is developing at a staggering speed, home
appliances
with new functions are being invented. By using these
appliances
,
people
can free themselves from household chores and focus on their work, which is of overriding significance in
this
fast-paced age, and ultimately augments citizens’ well-being. What is more, as more and more
people
buy domestic
appliances
, they will boost sales and encourage corresponding industries to innovate and invent new products.
This
will definitely lead to the economic growth of the country. From what has been analyzed above, it is indisputable that having more domestic
goods
can cause
people
to fail to grasp some basic living
skills
, but
this
trend
can increase
people
’s happiness and contribute to economic growth. The total influence of
this
trend
i
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coherence cohesion
There could be a smoother transition between the paragraphs to enhance overall flow. Consider using more cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph seamlessly connects to the next.
task achievement
While the essay provides valuable examples, incorporating a couple more specific examples would strengthen your arguments. For instance, mentioning the impact on traditional skills or how the innovation industry drives economic growth with concrete examples would be beneficial.
task achievement
Ensure complete development of your concluding sentence, as it appears incomplete. A strong and clear conclusion enhances clarity and leaves a lasting impression.
task achievement
The introduction clearly presents your viewpoint and sets the stage for the arguments presented in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay logically addresses the positive and negative aspects of the increased use of household goods, showing a balanced approach.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported with reasoning and examples, making the essay persuasive and well-argued.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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