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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

students at school and universities learn far more from lessons with teachers than from other sources( such as internet and television). to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #school #universities #lessons #teachers #sources #internet #television
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Nowadays, undergraduate
students
 spend more time on smartphones and television even whilst in class,
thus
, they learn most lessons from the
internet
,
although
 some people are in diverse opinions. I strongly agree with
this
 statement.
Firstly
, in the classroom lecturers mostly teach what is in their syllabus for the term or semester, and some of them don't even pay attention to other psychological needs of their
students
. There are social and
extra curriculum
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
show examples
 activities like indoor games like
scrabble
Capitalize word
Scrabble
show examples
, monopoly, chess etc that
students
 can benefit from but some of them are being forced to do it,
while
 others just participate without learning anything but they rather prefer the
internet
 where they have different varieties of games that of interest to them.
For instance
, tertiary
students
 are in the habit of using the
internet
 for different purposes
such
 as assignments,movies, and games and sometimes get the latest news from there.
However
, others watch television
for getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
 information like the weather forecast,sports or political news which helps them to be updated about the current happening in the country and they tend to learn a lot from that. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, the use of WiFi gadgets can lead to distraction because it can be addictive and they end up most of their time there without achieving anything. Some
students
 even neglect their activities of daily just because they are watching something interesting on the
internet
. In summary,
students
 spend the most time on the
internet
 and television than in the classroom,
therefore
 they learn lessons from the things they
engaged
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
 in the most.
Submitted by enaughetheresa on

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task response
The essay does not fully address the prompt as it neglects to consider arguments from the opposing view and lacks a clear position in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which impacts the overall coherence. Also, the organizational structure of the essay needs improvement to ensure clear transitions between ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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