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Writing Samples
Band 6

the best way to reduce crime amongst young people is to teach parents good parenting skill. Do you agree or disargee ?

#crime #people #parents #skill #disargee
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Nowadays, young
people
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 commit a lot of crimes than
last
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 two decades. Maybe the underlying reason is the wrong upbringing. Mainly
this
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 mistake belongs to some
parents
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.
This
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 essay agrees that
parents
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 must learn to raise their
children
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 differently.
Firstly
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,
this
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 essay will discuss how
this
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method
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 can help to reduce crime among young
people
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, and
secondly
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, what will be the results in society. On the one hand, teaching
parents
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 good parenthood talents can change the world society. Many
parents
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 prohibit their
children
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 from regular activities
such
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 as a walk outside with them, drawing, playing games with them, and all
children
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's joys. Modern
parents
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 prefer to force their
children
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 to study from an early age, and they are strict with their
children
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 from an early age.
As a result
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 of
this
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,
children
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 are growing up selfish, evil, and indifferent to their surroundings. It leads to more and more crimes among young
people
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. Psychologists in their new report informed us that among the criminals, 69% of the
people
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 had a bad relationship with their relatives, colleagues, and
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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. A bad attitude towards
people
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 depends on their upbringing, so
parents
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 must be more lovely to their
children
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.
Children
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 who are in good relationships with their families do not want to do something horrible. On other hand, if
this
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method
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 will be begun, criminality among young
people
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 will be reduced. The modern world does not need to string
parents
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 and their problematic
children
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. The community will be more peaceful without them. Some countries which started
this
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method
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 see the results.
For example
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, South Korea, Sweden, and Romania are the best instances of
this
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method
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. In these countries,
parents
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 cannot force their kids to do something hard for them. Due to
this
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, crime in these countries has decreased so much, that no one will steal a bag
that is
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 left on the street. In conclusion, I agree that modern
parents
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 must be taught ways of communicating with their
children
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 and not be a string with them because kids know better what is bad and what is good for themselves.
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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