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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that the governments should pay for health care and education, but others think that this is not the government’s responsibility

There is a debate over how the
government
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 ought to spend money, with some saying it is necessary to allocate the budget to medicine and
education
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, and others arguing that the state should not be held accountable. In my opinion,
while
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 paying for
health
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care
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 and
education
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 has some benefits, governments don’t have to fully fund these areas, as it could lead to serious financial and social issues in the future. One reason why the
government
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 should not be entirely responsible for funding
health
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care
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 and
education
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 is that it can put too much strain on the national budget.
For instance
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, in many developing countries, large portions of the budget are already used for security
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and debt repayment.If governments are forced to fully cover
education
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 and
health
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 costs, they may need to cut spending in other critical sectors
Punctuation problem
,
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which can hurt the economy and lead to dissatisfaction among citizens.
Therefore
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, relying solely on
government
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 funding may not be a sustainable solution in the long run.
However
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, it is still important for governments to provide partial support for these services, especially for low-income individuals.
For example
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, many families cannot afford private medical
care
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 or school fees, which limits their ability to stay healthy or become educated.Without basic access to these essential services, the nation may suffer from a less productive and less skilled population.
This
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 shows that
while
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 full
government
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 funding may not be ideal, some support is essential to ensure equal opportunity. In conclusion,
while
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health
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care
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 and
education
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 are vital services that should be accessible to everyone, the
government
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 should not bear the full cost. A system that combines public support with individual and private contributions can ensure fairness without putting too much pressure on state resources.

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strength
Your view is clear and you give a plan at the end.
structure
Put the main idea at the start of each paragraph to guide the reader.
content
Give more clear and strong examples to back each point.
language
Fix small grammar and spelling mistakes to help the meaning.
task response
The topic is clear and you share your view.
coherence
You use linking words to move from one idea to next.
task response
Conclusion restates your view well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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