IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #actions #crime
Some people think that more deeds can be done to stop criminal activities, whereas, others believe that nothing much can be done to curb illegal acts.
This
 essay will cover both points of view and my perspective.
To begin
 with, more initiatives could be taken to raise awareness with a view to ceasing unlawful acts, especially online crimes. With the advent of technology, hacking has become a severe crime committed quite often nowadays. The government should educate the general public on common scamming techniques used by hackers, especially in the banking industry.
In addition
, poverty is
also
 one of the main reasons for people to violate laws.
As a result
, most unemployed individuals choose to rob others in order to pay for necessities, accommodation or health medications. The government should create more jobs and increase the quality of life of citizens in order to reduce crime related to poverty. Admittedly, most countries have already been using these types of apps for a long period of time. Some countries have already used other methods
such
 as installing security cameras around their accommodation to avoid being robbed. Owing to the fact that so much has already been done to anticipate crimes,
currently
Add a comma
,currently
show examples
 people cannot do much to prevent them anymore. The government of multiple developed countries have already tried multiple strategies.
However
, it does not mean that laws are still being violated both severe and minor violations. To sum up, I personally believe that more work should be done to anticipate crimes on account of multiple reasons even though many procedures have been already taken.
Submitted by taduyvuong on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: