IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #years #time #people’s #lives #adult #life #happiness #spite #responsibility
It is believed that the adolescent
years
 are the happiest period of most people’s lives, while others believe that adulthood brings more contentment, despite having more responsibilities.
Although
 teenagers obtain new
experiences
 in their teenage
years
, I believe that
adults
 can enjoy the things they have accomplished. On the one hand,
experiences
 that adolescents gain before their reach adulthood make them happy.
This
 is because many teenagers get more freedom to do the things that they like without being controlled by their parents. A sense of freedom gives them an opportunity to socialise with their contemporaries and many of them fall in love for the
first
 time. These are unprecedented
experiences
 that make them feel very happy.
For example
, many dwellers of Sarajevo have said that the teenage
years
 were the happiest
years
 of their lives.
However
, I think that adolescents do not know what real happiness is at
such
 a young age.
On the other hand
,
adults
 can appreciate the things they have achieved.
This
 is to say that many
adults
 set goals when they were younger,
such
 as having prosperous careers, because they knew achieving their goals would make them content. They worked hard to get closer to their goals, and when they
finally
 achieved their targets, they felt contentment.
For instance
, many Bosnians dreamed about owning a property, and after purchasing housing they were ecstatic.
Therefore
, I believe that
adults
 can value happiness at a greater level. In conclusion,
although
 pre-adulthood brings new
experiences
, I believe that
adults
 enjoy the perks of their hard work.
Submitted by stellavasil52 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: