IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In recent years, responsible tourists have paid attention to preserving both the culture and the environment of the place they visit. However, some people say that it is impossible to be a responsible tourist. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the present era, a growing number of people
travel
Wrong verb form
are travelling
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 around the world, it
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 a trend.
Thus
Linking Words
, some
suggested
Wrong verb form
suggest
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 that it is tourists' responsibility to protect the civilization and surroundings of the destinations,
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 suggestion is impossible to keep. I strongly disagree with the statement. On the one hand, visitors are more likely to be responsible for the protection local environment as long as the governments can actively implement policies.
For example
Linking Words
, visitors are not daring to litter everywhere in Singapore since the harsh penalty launched by its government. Another similar example can be found in China. The government released a regulation about littering around at anyone, including visitors, who
violates
Correct subject-verb agreement
violate
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 the rule may pay a fine.
Such
Linking Words
 policies can force people to protect the local environment
while
Linking Words
 travelling.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, how
culture
Use synonyms
 can be valued and preserved depends on visitors’ awareness. If people had
the
Correct article usage
apply
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access to local cultures before their trip, they would
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
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 of the importance of the civilization and would not destroy them on purpose.
For instance
Linking Words
, if you searched the local history and
culture
Use synonyms
 or watched a documentary before travelling to the destination, you would be very aware of the cultural differences between your own
culture
Use synonyms
 and others,
thus
Linking Words
 making you accountable for the prevention of the local civilization and history. In conclusion, based on the above evidence and analysis, tourists can be accountable for the preservation of the
culture
Use synonyms
 and the environment of the destinations through policies and beforehand information preparation.

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task achievement
Your introduction sets the scene well, but try to make a clearer thesis statement indicating your position. Instead of simply stating you disagree, elaborate on why you believe visitors can be responsible.
coherence and cohesion
In your paragraphs, the ideas flow generally well, but some connections between sentences could be stronger. Use linking words to enhance cohesion, particularly between main points and supporting details.
task achievement
While you provided examples to support your points, ensure they clearly relate to your argument about tourists being responsible. Consider adding more specific examples or elaborating on the existing ones to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion, which is essential for a strong task response. You’ve demonstrated an understanding of both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay maintains logical paragraphs with distinct points, making it easy for readers to follow your line of reasoning. For the most part, each paragraph focuses on a central idea.
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