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Writing Samples
Band 7

Stress-related illness are becoming increasingly common. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#illness
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Degrading the
health
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 of the public is becoming a more prevalent and serious issue in modern society.
In other words
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, many adults suffer from illnesses that are originated from the continuous stress that they gain from their work. There are fundamental
problems
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 contributing to
this
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 problem and I will suggest some practical solutions to promote the
health
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 of workers. The reason that many workforces suffer from
health
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problems
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 related to stress is largely attributed to tense working conditions. Due to the continued stagnation of the current economy, companies have no choice but to lay off a number of employees to survive in the competition. To fill the shortage of workforce caused by
this
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, left employees need to deal with overwhelming workloads and responsibilities to support their companies.
For example
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, an average working hour in Japan is between 8 and 10 hours, which is much longer than in other developed countries
such
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 as France whose labour period is around 6 on average.
As a result
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 of
this
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 intense working environment, people are often unable to sleep well and are diagnosed with depression. In order to tackle
this
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 increase in
health
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problems
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 among labourers, a company should create more interactive working conditions. A boss should welcome various creative ideas from individuals.
This
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 allows employees not to gain a sense of commitment but
also
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 to strengthen ties with managers.
Furthermore
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, as their idea is reflected in the business,they are more satisfied and proud of their own contribution.
Therefore
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, maintaining transparent relationships with one another is the significant key to promoting their wellbeings. In conclusion, the downturn of the current economic situation makes the working environment more hostile than in the past, which results in numerous physical and psychological
problems
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 among workers.
Thus
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, frequent communication between workers and managers is essential to protect their
health
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.
Submitted by mizuho_kondo117 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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