IT IS IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE TO TAKE RISKS, IN BOTH THEIR PROFESSIONAL LIVES AND PERSONAL LIVES. DO THE ADVANTAGE Of TAKING RISKS OUTWEIGH WHE DISADVANTAGES?

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There is no doubt that these days taking
risks
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is a big part of both (
professional
Correct pronoun usage
my professional
show examples
) and (personal
life
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). The question is: do the advantages of taking
risks
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outweigh the disadvantages? In
this
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essay, I will discuss both sides and give my opinion. On the positive side, taking
risks
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can lead to success and new opportunities. The main reason given to support
this
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claim is that many
people
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achieve great things only when they step out of their comfort zone. To illustrate, starting a new business or changing careers may seem scary, but it can bring big rewards.
In other words
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, taking
risks
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can open doors that playing it safe cannot.
Also
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, in personal
life
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,
people
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who take emotional or social
risks
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often gain new experiences, meet new
people
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, and build stronger confidence in themselves.
However
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, there are
also
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some disadvantages to taking
risks
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.
Firstly
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,
risks
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do not always lead to success.
In other words
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, someone might lose money, time, or even relationships.
Secondly
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,
this
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is because not everyone is ready for the pressure or failure that can come with risky decisions.
Also
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, too many
risks
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in personal
life
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can create stress and instability.
For example
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, quitting a job without a plan may lead to serious financial problems. In conclusion,
although
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taking
risks
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can sometimes lead to problems, I believe the advantages are greater in most cases.
Therefore
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,
people
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should take smart
risks
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that are
well planned
Add a hyphen
well-planned
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. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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careful risk-taking helps
people
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grow, learn, and reach goals in both
personal
Correct pronoun usage
their personal
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and professional
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured and follows a clear progression of ideas, but try to explicitly connect your points back to the main question to enhance clarity.
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, consider adding more specific examples or evidence to support your points on both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to maintain consistency in your language and avoid repetition of phrases like 'taking risks', using synonyms instead to enhance lexical variety.
task achievement
The introduction presents a clear thesis statement and outlines the essay's direction, which is commendable.
coherence and cohesion
You effectively varied your sentence structures, which makes the essay engaging and easier to read.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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