Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures

Nowadays, younger generations are experiencing extreme pressure in terms of education, social, and commercial point of view. Thru
this
essay, I will discuss the reasons behind
this
situation and the possible actions that could be taken to address the matter.
Firstly
, I believe that the main cause of
this
constraint is overexposure to social media. People are addicted to sharing every event, achievement, accomplishment, and even everyday activity on these social platforms.
For instance
, parents would post on Facebook their child's perfect score on a math quiz, and when another parent whose child did not achieve the same score, would see the post, they will question their child's academic capabilities or determination.
Secondly
, the gap between the rich and the poor had been increasingly evident. The difference in how people are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
perceived and treated according to social status is widely experienced. And
finally
, extreme marketing by public personalities has a huge impact on children. They desire to have anything they see trending or popular because to them it will provide acceptance and belongingness. I think the solution to
this
unfortunate condition will start at home. Adults should be role models to these young people by avoiding too much use of social media. We should imply to them the importance of doing their best
instead
of always winning or being the best. The schools could eliminate social pressure by implementing regulations that could prevent showing social status.
For instance
, in my kid's school, during social activities like Christmas Party, children are required to use their physical education uniform
instead
of civilian clothing which would manifest the space between statuses.
Finally
, awareness of priorities and proper product choosing base on quality and practicality should be taught and emphasized to children from early childhood.
Therefore
I conclude that social media exposure, social gap, and marketing by public figures cause great pressure academically, socially, and commercially in younger individuals.
Nevertheless
, parents can decrease
this
by being a good example themselves, as well as by decreasing exposure to social platforms, and by instilling practicality from an early age.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • globalized world
  • competitive education system
  • social media influences
  • cyberbullying
  • commercial pressures
  • aggressive marketing
  • materialistic desires
  • peer pressure
  • high expectations
  • standardized testing
  • quantifiable performance
  • stress and anxiety
  • extracurricular achievements
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