Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.
Nowadays, environmental
problems
are one of the biggest root causes of the loss of particular species of plants and animals. In addition
, there are other important issues that pose a threat to our environment. This
essay will discuss both views and provide opinions.
It is widely known that environmental problems
will have significant impacts not only on humans but also
on plants and animals. This
is especially true for particular species, as these problems
can put them in danger. For example
, some rare jellyfish species may disappear from the ocean if water
temperatures increase significantly due to
environmental issues.
Moreover
, there are other more critical environmental problems
, such
as climate change, which is a result of the greenhouse effect. Climate change impacts the climate cycle, affecting farmers, the agricultural industry, and human living conditions. For instance
, tropical countries are experiencing the effects of El Niño and La Niña, which influence the duration of dry and rainy seasons.
Additionally
, many cities have higher populations than rural areas. Urban societies need clean water
for their daily needs. The availability of clean water
is closely related to the environmental conditions surrounding these communities. If the environment faces numerous problems
, this
will directly reduce the availability of water
.
In conclusion, all environmental problems
must be addressed with concrete plans and actions, not only by the government but also
by society as a whole. Stakeholders must unite and contribute their best solutions to implement and solve these challenges.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the task, addressing both views on environmental problems. However, it could benefit from a more in-depth exploration of how these issues directly lead to the loss of species.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, consider linking ideas more explicitly by using transitional phrases, which can guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
Ensure that the examples are more directly tied to the main argument. While the examples of jellyfish and climate effects are relevant, they could be expanded with additional details to enhance clarity.
task achievement
While the main points are supported, including more varied examples or statistical data could bolster your arguments and provide a more comprehensive view.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and summarize the main points well, but the conclusion could be more precise in summarizing your position on which environmental problem is more critical, if any.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The writing covers both aspects of the question, showing an understanding of the breadth of the topic.
task achievement
Examples provided are relevant to the topic and help illustrate points about the importance of addressing environmental issues.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.