Write about the following topic: A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoid stresses. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience?

#topic #person #someone #diet #plenty #exercise #stresses #people #country

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It is usually said that a vigorous person is

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

one who should always have a healthy meal,

doing

Wrong verb form

show examples

as many workouts as possible

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

moreover

, avoid pressures from things happening daily. From my point of view, I utterly agree with these statements about how to stay healthy because we can be vigorous when we have sufficient conditions.

However

, these are

also

unrealistic advice as not everyone can be determined enough to keep those suggestions.

Thus

, I would like to support some of my opinions to make

this

clearer.

Firstly

, a good diet can be an

appeal

Replace the word

appealing

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condition for us so as to have a good quality of life.

This

is because

according to

a famous philosopher in China used to state that we become what we consume.

In other words

, the more unhealthy foods people take, the more sickness they have got for their life.

Therefore

, in order to be healthy, we should have a good diet,

such

as eating more vegetables, trying to

diverse

Replace the word

diversify

show examples

the food range in our daily

meal

Fix the agreement mistake

meals

show examples

and, if possible,

avoid

Wrong verb form

avoiding

show examples

dinning

Correct your spelling

dining

show examples

because our stomach needs

resting

Change the verb form

to rest

show examples

at night.

Secondly

, doing exercises could aid to improve our health as well. In fact, many scientists have said that we all were born to be active, the more activities we do, the more flexible and dynamic we are.

This

is because of the adaptability of human beings, we have known there are many people

can

Correct pronoun usage

who can

show examples

live longer when they have been experiencing a tensive life, especially those who live in the toughest environments

such

as mountain areas.

Hence

, if we could do numerous workouts,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

we will certainly increase our strength.

Nevertheless

, I am quite sceptical about avoiding

stresses

Fix the agreement mistake

stress

show examples

to stay healthy

due to

the vast majority of factors which influence the lives in my country

such

as livelihood, family and so forth. It turns out impossible to stay away from

stresses

Fix the agreement mistake

stress

show examples

, albeit, I bet it is

worthy

Replace the word

worth

show examples

to give it try. In conclusion, I am convinced that people could stay vigorous by having a good diet, doing as many exercises and

avoid

Wrong verb form

avoiding

show examples

being stressed if possible. Because

this

is what we choose to do, so try to be good.

Submitted by dmdeemanthakasun on Sun Jan 29 2023

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

364 words

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