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Writing Samples
Band 6

some believe that the best way to keep fit to join a gym or health club while others think doing every activities such as walking and climbing stairs is as effecient. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #gym #health #club #activities #stairs #effecient
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Opinions are divided as to whether doing
exercise
Use synonyms
 at
Use synonyms
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
 or health club is
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 efficient
way
Use synonyms
 to stay healthy rather than strolling and climbing ladders. Despite the fact that general activity, like walking, is one
way
Use synonyms
 to keep fit,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
going
gym
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 the best
way
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will describe both viewpoints and give my own opinion. On the one hand, there are lots of benefits to
join
Change the verb form
joining
show examples
 in a
gym
Use synonyms
 for making their bodies to be fit.
Firstly
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, the equipment in a
gym
Use synonyms
 is more suitable for
exercise
Use synonyms
 in each part of their bodies.
Secondly
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, each health club has a trainer to teach us
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the right
way
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
exercise
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 method
also
Linking Words
 ameliorates trainees to have a track to themselves, which
push
Correct subject-verb agreement
pushes
show examples
 them to work out every day.
For instance
Linking Words
, if people who
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise
Use synonyms
 at
Correct article usage
a club
show examples
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
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 have a trainer, he will check us to work out, or whether what food
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 eat is appropriate and consists of nutrients to stay healthy.
Finally
Linking Words
, there are a lot of people to do
exercise
Use synonyms
 with you at
Use synonyms
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 will lead you not to feel lonely and encourage you to work out continuously.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, general activities
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
several
Add a missing verb
have several
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 advantages.
To begin
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, these exercises are easier to do it everywhere,
such
Linking Words
 as
homes
Change preposition
in homes
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, offices and parks.
For example
Linking Words
, if there is a park in your village, you can go to
walk
Correct article usage
a walk
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 or run instantly.
This
Linking Words
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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also
Linking Words
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
waste
Fix the infinitive
to waste
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 your time to travel and
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
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 costs to pay as a membership.
Moreover
Linking Words
, regular
exercise
Use synonyms
 is
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 all-over body workout and a low-impact
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
 when compared with others. In conclusion, even though general sports save our
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
 and be easy to do, in my view, having a trainer at
Use synonyms
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
 is able to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
much faster to fit in shape.
Submitted by phawanakleesuwan on

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