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Writing Samples
Band 6

Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

#childhood #obesity #years #measures
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During the
last
years
Correct quantifier usage
few years
show examples
, our
children
 have been facing a severe problem with obesity.
This
 could be regarding the lack of their
parents
 giving them the attention they need during their meals or maybe because they need to learn how to have a healthy life regarding food. Whatever the reason, they would need to improve their
way
 to make those things better. Nowadays, many
parents
 cannot take care of their
children
's meals either they do not have time or they have not learnt how to do it properly. Whatever the case, fast food plays a role as an ally for those
parents
 who lack time. If we add that not knowing what food they are giving their
kids
, the results could be horrendous.
Also
, not knowing anything, regardless of nutrition, could affect their
children
's
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
;
this
 is what some doctors have been saying regarding
this
 topic. One
way
 to help reduce
this
 could be giving those
parents
 some counselling about
children
's alimentation like explaining how to cook a healthy meal for their
kids
. Give an extra activity after school for those
kids
 who are in need could
also
 help to decrease the condition of obesity: exercise is an excellent
way
 to help our body to be healthy. A recent study says that
parents
 who care and know what their
kids
 have for the lunch break at school are getting better results in their exams. To summarize, obesity is getting our
kids
 in a
way
 that we do not want them to go. We need to know more about
this
 disease and how we can be faced it. Understanding what the main cause is could help us to reduce it.
Submitted by nicoarratta on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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