In many schools, sports lessons are part of the timetable, because it is important for both boys and girls to participate in sports. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A plethora of educational institutions provide PE programs as a part of their curriculum and encourage both male and female
students
Use synonyms
to take part in
sports
Use synonyms
activities. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
action
due to
Linking Words
the solid reasons I will be mentioning in
this
Linking Words
essay.
Schools
Use synonyms
must add
sports
Use synonyms
lessons into the student's timetable because , in a time where we are witnessing a spike in the percentage of teenagers who are struggling with obesity
due to
Linking Words
the unhealthy routine that involves sitting on television and scrolling down social media on the phone for hours, it is fundamental for
schools
Use synonyms
to integrate physical activities into the
students
Use synonyms
' daily routine.
Not to mention
Linking Words
the uncountable benefits of exercising daily from improving the heart rate and blood circulation to boosting positive energy and the activeness of the body.
This
Linking Words
will
also
Linking Words
have a good impact on the
Use synonyms
students'
Correct your spelling
student's
show examples
academic performance. Because when the body is healthy , the brain is
also
Linking Words
healthy as per the famous quote "A healthy mind is in a healthy body."
Moreover
Linking Words
, educational organizations should introduce talented and interested both male and female
students
Use synonyms
to different types of
sports
Use synonyms
based on their qualifications and preferences
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and utilize qualified coaches to train them, without genderizing any type of physical activity provided.
This
Linking Words
could be an opportunity for young individuals to improve themselves and to pursue a career as athletes, and could
also
Linking Words
present their
schools
Use synonyms
in national and international championships.
For example
Linking Words
, Yusra Mardini has turned from a teenage girl who had
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
intensive swimming training in her school in Syria before the civil war to one of the most recognizable swimmers in the world.
Therefore
Linking Words
, institutions should put their faith in all of their
students
Use synonyms
no matter what their gender is. In conclusion, I strictly believe that
schools
Use synonyms
should make
sports
Use synonyms
an essential part of their teaching system without
an
Change the article
a
show examples
biasm
Correct your spelling
bias
based on gender type as
this
Linking Words
will make a remarkable impact on the
Use synonyms
students'
Correct your spelling
student's
show examples
academic and personal life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar
Make sure to proofread for small grammatical errors (e.g., 'students' should be 'students' in 'students' daily routines').
Cohesion
Clarify certain points for improved coherence, particularly in transitioning between ideas for a more fluid reading experience.
Task Achievement
Consider providing more examples or evidence to strengthen some of your claims, especially in relation to academic performance and health benefits.
Task Achievement
Strong and relevant examples, such as Yusra Mardini's story, enhance the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Clear position stated in the introduction and well-structured paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical health and fitness
  • Life skills
  • Teamwork
  • Cooperation
  • Academic studies
  • Interest
  • Ability
  • Resources
  • Stress
  • Competition
What to do next:
Look at other essays: