*Parents are trying to reach childcare tutors to learn how to take care of their children. Is this essential? Give your opinion on this and illustrate an Example

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In recent times, the young couple has been keen on gaining knowledge from childcare professionals on child's growth and development in an effective and care-free manner. The idea may seem exaggerated,
however
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, the societal structure forces the guardian to opt for
such
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classes. I strongly agree that acquiring information in a professional way will assist in growing the child in a more cognitive way.
To begin
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with,
instructors
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instructors'
instructor's
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support is vital, because of the ubiquitous of technological gadgets, which creates more dependency rather than being able to do daily
routine
Fix the agreement mistake
routines
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independently. In fact, teenagers are attracted towards Television, smartphones and computers unknowingly by
parents
Use synonyms
due to
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their hectic work schedules.
Therefore
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, in order to engage teenagers in a variety of activities and to make fruitful connections,
such
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lessons are necessary.
For example
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, in Canada, the Canadian Ministry of Health and Childcare service provides free consultation and counselling to
parents
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who enrol themselves in
such
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programs, which is
also
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recommended by doctors.
Moreover
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, from a professional childcare teacher, we can expect a wholesome view of teenager management and the milestones of the kids can be analysed in
such
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a way that practical application of the concepts is possible.
Also
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, it enhances the confidence and self-satisfaction of the caregivers.
Additionally
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,
such
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programs boost the mental well-being of both
parents
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and adolescents.
For instance
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, the Mental Health Society of Canada has recently launched a program which includes
parents
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and caregivers to participate in a community and meetings are held every month.
To sum up
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, some significant support is needed by amateur couples to take care of their children . Getting support from the practitioner is appreciatable and people should encourage more
such
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initiative from government and other communities.

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task achievement
Try to provide a clearer and more detailed introduction that outlines your main points more explicitly. For instance, you can summarize the benefits of professional childcare advice that you will discuss in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines its main idea. This will improve the clarity and flow of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and improve the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or studies to support your points. While you provided one example, having additional relevant examples would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your conclusion could be more impactful by restating the importance of these programs and their long-term benefits for children and parents.
task achievement
Your essay showcases a strong understanding of the topic and presents clear opinions and arguments.
task achievement
The use of examples adds credibility to your arguments and shows practical applications of the points discussed.
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