IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe bicycles have a lot of advantages whereas others believe bicycles have more disadvantages. Discuss both and give your opinion.

The modern trend shows
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 decrease in the number of
cycling
Replace the word
cyclists
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 certain individuals hold their opinions towards the benefits of
Using
Fix capitalization
using
show examples
 cycles, others advocate that it is not suitable for advanced communication.
However
Linking Words
, I personally believe that cycling is one of the effective ways of weight loss and reducing carbon emissions. Here, the following paragraphs aim to compare both arguments and conclude with a statement that supports my viewpoint. To start with, the bike, a motorless two-wheel vehicle, is often considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
slow, cheap and uncomfortable. Critics
are you
Verb problem
say
show examples
 that it has been
hardly
Rephrase
almost
show examples
possible
Use the right word
impossible
show examples
 to make a long trip by bicycle. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 higher energy and strength are needed to run it.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the age of globalisation demands first communication where people can go there workplace quickly;
can
Correct pronoun usage
they can
show examples
also
Linking Words
 move from one country to another
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 a very short time. So, it is argued that bikes are against the first mobility and it is
also
Linking Words
 difficult to use
with comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
Punctuation problem
, car
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
etc
Punctuation problem
, etc
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, riding bikes is a good exercise that helps to keep the body fit and strengthens the legs.
For instance
Linking Words
, physicians suggest that if a child goes to school by cycle, he or she would be more attentive in a class lecture and more active in other
curriculums
Replace the word
curricula
show examples
 than
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the
students
Punctuation problem
students,
show examples
 as it impacts blood circulation and cognitive development.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
alike
Use the right word
like
show examples
 other transportation, it has no electrical motor
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
as a result
Linking Words
, it is eco-friendly
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it cuts the amount of carbon dioxide in the air
as well as
Linking Words
 ensures biodiversity. In a nutshell, the advantages of cycles outweigh
its disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
their disadvantages
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is advisable to use the vehicle for daily activities. To encourage people,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 can construct separate Roads and give subsidies to augment its production as well.

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structure
Make a clear plan before you write. Start with a short intro, then two body para, then a short ending.
content
Each idea should have a clear reason and a small example. Do not jump from idea to idea too fast.
language
Fix grammar and spell. Use simple words. Check 'bike' vs 'bicycle' etc.
coherence
Use link words to show cause and effect and to connect ideas, like 'but', 'also', 'so', 'therefore'.
structure
Keep to one idea per paragraph; have topic sentence at start of each paragraph.
content
The writer has a clear view and states it in the intro.
content
The essay talks about both sides and the idea of health and green air.
structure
There is a form like intro, body, and end.
content
A few good examples are given.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bike
  • bicycle
  • good
  • bad
  • health
  • money
  • cheap
  • cost
  • air
  • noise
  • traffic
  • park
  • short
  • trip
  • weather
  • rain
  • hills
  • safety
  • risk
  • crash
  • theft
  • lock
  • repair
  • tires
  • city
  • people
  • work
  • school
  • plan
  • idea
  • solution
  • improve
  • choice
  • benefit
  • problem
  • balance
  • view
  • opinion
  • conclusion
  • share
  • move
  • lanes
  • bike lanes
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