The growing number of overweight  people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#&nbsp #people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

These days, being overweight becoming a real issue in our community.

This

happens

due to

many reasons, one of them

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

increased stress levels. Some believe that giving information about physical education in school will help mitigate the problem. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will discuss whether I agree or disagree.

To begin

with, being overweight is often caused by the escalation of stress levels.

For instance

, my friend was overwhelmed by her thesis deadline

last

year. I knew her for a decade and she was a healthy-normal weight person, but

last

year she gained 20 kg in just 3 months. She told me that doing her thesis was so stressful that she needed an escape. One of many ways, she chose to eat. She could eat 5 times a day

while

trying to finish the work.

In other words

, gaining body mass is a sign that we are in an uncomfortable condition.

However

, if they are exposed to the right information about what to do when they are in an uncomfortable environment

then

being overweight is not an issue they should be worried about.

While

others believe that physical knowledge will help to reduce the issue, I believe that adding psychological knowledge will support the goal better. By combining these two curriculums we can help people to understand that physical and mental issues can affect our body in so many ways and what are solutions for those.

Additionally

, learning that we can take body exercises when stress hit us will help a lot of people to stay away from being overweight issues and build a healthier community.

Submitted by prawitacandrasari on Sat Feb 04 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

overweight
health care system
physical education
curriculum
health issues
obesity
strain
mandatory
long-term
well-rounded development
diet education
community sports
parental involvement
potential challenges
facilities
trained staff
case studies
public health
responsibility
individual choice

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialise with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say patriotism causes problems and is negative overall. Others feel that it is beneficial for society at large. Do the advantages of patriotism outweight its disadvantages?

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?