In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#years #interest #relationship #equality #achievement #people #individuals #societies #levels #merits

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In contemporary times, there has been a

raising

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rising

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fascination towards the connection between individual accomplishments and equality.

While

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few

people

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reckon that an individual can attain better in an equalitarian society, others are of the opinion that

this

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can only be possible if opportunities are provided to

people

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as per their abilities. In my opinion, there have to be equal chances only in some aspects

such

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as the development of skills,

education

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, medicine etc., and not in the matter of securing a job or a seat in educational institutions. On the one hand, each person should be

provisioned

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provided

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access to free health and

education

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by the concerned authorities in every nation globally as

this

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could keep everyone safe from medical risks and identify the right talent for appropriate jobs which in turn boosts its own economy.

For instance

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, the Canadian government offers free health and

education

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to every citizen, worker and permanent resident and ensures everybody is treated fairly

similarly

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by imposing slab taxation on income earners.

Consequently

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, everyone not only gets equal exposure and a chance to prove themselves but

also

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obtain scholarships later based on their merits.

As a result

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, capable persons could get into some good organizations or begin their own startups after their

education

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On the other hand

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, egalitarianism necessarily means it has to be in all sorts of categories like social,

economical

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economic

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and

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apply

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financial etc., irrespective of skill and potential everybody would be treated as identical. To explain it clearly, the reservation system in India is a prime example which helps

people

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from downward sections of society to study and secure a seat in top institutions even without appropriate knowledge owing to the fact that all sects don't follow the same level of performance indicators.

Although

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this

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is considered equality by considering other factors by some, it does injustice to the right talent.

To conclude

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, an equalitarian society is definitely needed just to ensure all are treated fairly and equally in accessing the resources needed for enhancement of the skills

instead

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of treating skill levels for different

people

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based on other factors.

Submitted by prudhvi.pinninti18 on Sun Feb 05 2023

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Language

Use more formal language and avoid contractions (e.g., can't, doesn't).

Structuring

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly introduce and summarize the main points of the essay. Also, provide a clear opinion in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion.

Content

Provide more specific examples and elaborate on them to support your ideas.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

347 words

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