IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that city planners should create more green spaces and plant trees. Others believe that they should focus on building new homes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People
Use synonyms
 maintain various views about whether more buildings or green
areas
Use synonyms
 should be prioritized in urban
areas
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.
Although
Linking Words
 many argue that more residential
places
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 should be constructed, I believe that planting
trees
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 and forming more green sites might be beneficial in terms of
air
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pollution
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 and
people
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’s well-being and healthy lifestyle. On the one hand, the reasons why some
people
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 contend that the construction of a lot of
places
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 to live is the best choice are multiple. First and foremost, in today’s world, the high population in
cities
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 is one of the concerns that make
people
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 struggle with finding living
places
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. To be more precise,
people
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 who move to
cities
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due to
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 jobs or education might not find accommodation to settle in. Taking Glasgow,
for instance
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, is one of the
cities
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 which welcomes every year thousands of students, and students frequently complain about fewer residential
places
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.
Moreover
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, building new houses might decrease flat or house prices.
in other words
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, since
people
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 mainly reside in
cities
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, fees become higher owing to a lack of houses, and
people
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 are not likely to afford them. If there are several options in terms of accommodation, landlords might reduce their prices to attract customers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I share the opinion of those who believe that constructors should allocate more greenery
instead
Linking Words
 of buildings.
Firstly
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, green parks and
trees
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 are essential to preventing
air
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pollution
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 in urban
areas
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. In the cutting-edge world, it should be acknowledged that the urban population struggles with
air
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pollution
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as a consequence
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 of crowds and exhaust fumes released from vehicles.
Hence
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, it would be more reasonable if constructors expanded the green spaces and the number of
trees
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 in order to restrict
air
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pollution
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 and provide fresh
air
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 in
cities
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.
Moreover
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, citizens might be benefited from having a lot of green playgrounds, tall
trees
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as well as
Linking Words
 green parks. Precisely, in the state-of-the-art period, running, walking, taking fresh
air
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, and playing with peers
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 vitally important for societies’ well-being.
Thus
Linking Words
,
the more green
Change to a genitive case
the more green area's cities
the cities of the more green area
show examples
areas
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cities
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 have, the healthier their society is. In conclusion, even though some individuals argue that new houses should be built more, I believe that settling in green zones and growing
trees
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 would enable the prevention of
air
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pollution
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 and raise the health rate among
people
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.

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