IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the last century when a human astronaut arrived on the moon he said "it is a big step for mankind". But some people say it makes little or no difference to our daily life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The desire to explore
this
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 universe is an integral part of human nature. Many people argue that the
exploration
Use synonyms
 of the moon doesn’t have any benefit on our daily life,
additionally
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, the money wasted on these activities must be used to elevate the lifestyle of the poor populations.
On the contrary
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, I believe that
exploration
Use synonyms
 has helped mankind to take a giant leap towards a sustainable future which will be explained in
this
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 essay. To commence with, the scientific and Engineering research during the development of spaceships helped us to eliminate certain problems.
For example
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, the system that uses radio waves to find the location of a certain object was invented during the Apollo Mission. Later on,
this
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 equipment found many applications in the aviation and automobile industry for tracking purposes. Our mobile phones use
Global
Correct article usage
a Global
show examples
 Positioning System (GPS)
that is
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 based on
this
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 technique.
Secondly
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, our universe comprises millions of types of elements and compounds. As we know, the minerals and resources available on our earth are not enough to meet the growing demand of our population.
Therefore
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, it is necessary to find new resources. Space
exploration
Use synonyms
 has helped mankind to explore new or alternative methods which can be utilized in case of mineral scarcity in future.
For example
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,
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
 Space Agency (NASA) has discovered new habitable planets,
such
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 as Kepler-II which has suitable resources to support human life.
To conclude
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, space discovery has contributed a lot to human development, and the first step on the moon was a massive achievement.
Although
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 millions of dollars spent on
exploration
Use synonyms
 could be utilized
elsewhere
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, I believe that its advantages overshadow the drawbacks.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure clear and consistent use of verb tenses throughout the essay to maintain coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
Provide a stronger counter-argument and refute it effectively to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the opposing view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • telecommunications
  • computer technology
  • materials science
  • inspiration
  • education
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • national pride
  • global cooperation
  • commercial space industry
  • space race
  • private sector
  • moon landing
  • human astronaut
  • significant achievement
  • global unity
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