IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In the contemporary world, as a result of the development of digital technologies, individuals opt to order products online instead of visiting stores orally. While this trend brings some benefits, however, some demerits should be considered.

In the contemporary world,
as a result
Linking Words
 of the development of digital technologies, individuals opt to order products online
instead
Linking Words
 of visiting stores physically.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend brings some benefits,
however
Linking Words
, some demerits should be considered. The primary advantage of online shopping is the ability to buy goods from different locations. In the past,
people
Use synonyms
 were limited to buying the products only available in nearby areas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or had to travel to other places, spending time and resources.
In contrast
Linking Words
, now, there is no
such
Linking Words
 limitation, and
people
Use synonyms
 are able to order things not only from different cities, but
also
Linking Words
 from foreign stores.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Kazakhstan,
people
Use synonyms
 use platforms like Pinduoduo to order goods from China, where the prices are comparably more affordable. Another merit is that it
also
Linking Words
 facilitates businesses
:
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 by selling products online, entrepreneurs don't have to rent or buy a building, which can reduce expenses and financial burden. Despite the benefits listed above, there are some drawbacks, one of which is that it depends on delivery systems. In some countries, shipping might take long periods of time or
even can
Correct word order
can even
show examples
 be too expensive, making all the positives irrelevant.
In addition
Linking Words
, goods can arrive
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 an improper size or sometimes even damaged. Returning or replacing those orders sometimes can be complicated.
To sum up
Linking Words
, buying things online has advantages like improved accessibility and is economically beneficial for businesses. Yet,
people
Use synonyms
 should be aware of the disadvantages,
such
Linking Words
 as delivery time, or problems that could occur with the product.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay has a good set up and shows both sides. To reach band 7 or more, give a clear plan in the intro and a strong final idea that sums up your view.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with clear signs. Use simple words to show how points are related. Try to make one main point in each paragraph and keep a clear flow from one idea to the next.
structure
Clear structure with an opening, body on good points, body on bad points, and a closing.
examples
Good contrast between the pros and cons and some use of examples.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: