IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

some people believe that it is good to share as much informaion as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Others believe have some information is too important or too valuable to be shared already. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#people #informaion #research #business #world #information
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is important to consider that there is a plethora of information that can be passed on to multiple sources for its own outcome.
While
Linking Words
 some believe that there is a confidentiality phase gate beyond which certain details shouldn't be shared, others argue that even sharing specific minutiae burns bridges on the common knowledge gap for improved transparency among the public. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I discuss both views and support my claim on the latter. On one hand, the importance of research and development across multiple sectors loses its value.
This
Linking Words
 is because companies do analysis to gain a competitive edge over their peers and failure to do so would rather invest the budget
elsewhere
Linking Words
.
For instance
Linking Words
, almost more than 90% of all inventions are held as a patent through exploration. As a result, sharing all the details on a common platform doesn't foster competition towards research that gave birth to the majority of inventions ranging from medicines to modern technology in recent times.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, one must
also
Linking Words
 understand the desperate need for transparency in today's society.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the government, corporate or academic world are entitled to share their confidential data with the public or their employees to avoid knowledge gaps and vision.
For example
Linking Words
, governments run on taxpayers' money and they should be kept aware of all info that it handles on their behalf, hiding certain minutiae hides the integrity of the government that the public voted for.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, from the business side, the open-source community encourages competition and avoids chances for monopolies that encourage exorbitant pricing models. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are substantiated reasons why sharing all the information has its own repercussions, the advantages of doing
such
Linking Words
 acts clearly outweigh the limitations mentioned above with the highlighted examples.
Submitted by praveen9952 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: