IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

some people think that children should start to go to school at the age of 6 or 7, other say that should be earlier. What do you think?

#people #children #school #age
It is important to consider at which
age
 is more beneficial for
children
 to start attending
school
.
While
 some argue that parents should wait until the primary
school
age
, others manifest a preference to send them as soon as possible to nurseries or kindergartens.
This
 essay will explore both views,
although
 I firmly believe that sending them at an early
age
 is far more beneficial than later on. Considering
firstly
 the former opinion, parents might choose to wait until they reach the
age
 of six or seven in order to avoid possible diseases that young
children
 are prone to. It has been shown that
children
 at an early
age
due to
 their fragile and insufficient developed immune systems, are more likely to catch infections.
Therefore
, parents keep
children
 at home to avoid contact with their peers, and,
consequently
, prevent respiratory conditions,
for instance
. If they go to
school
 at
this
age
, they could get seriously ill which could compromise their future health condition. Turning the point to the latter, in my opinion as earlier as a child interacts with their peers and other adults, they are more capable to acquire a wider number of cognitive skills compared to the ones kept at home.
For example
, a child who attends kindergarten develops their sense of interaction, non-verbal communication and autonomy
due to
 the different stimuli that
this
 approach brings. If they do not experience
this
 type of situation when their brain is still developing, they would find it more difficult to develop relationships at a later stage. In summary,
although
 there are some drawbacks to take into consideration when sending
children
 to
school
 at an early
age
, which can primarily affect the child´s health condition, I am a vehement supporter that they are surmounted by the desired soft skills they develop at an early
age
 at
school
.
Submitted by ana.lpsmachado on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social skills
  • learning disabilities
  • natural development
  • family bonding
  • competitive edge
  • formal education
  • Scandinavian countries
  • academic performance
  • balanced approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: