In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

In light of the proliferation of amenities, agricultural lands are now sorely lacking causing dwellers to repurpose numerous open spaces into farming sites.
Although
it may indeed have potential drawbacks to society, it is eclipsed by substantial benefits offered to the masses. On the one hand, the foremost disadvantage is the scarcity of facilities which have been demolished.
In other words
, employing these places is necessitated for commuting a longer distance which creates the issue of time constraints and geographical boundaries. In the long term, it does bother people, encouraging widespread sedentary lifestyles. Take Vietnam as a prime example,
due to
the fact that
this
country is economically underprivileged and cannot afford to allocate sports amenities well — a compelling reason for the lower activity rate compared to the area group. Notwithstanding the aforementioned drawbacks,
this
writer is convinced of its advantages. At the individual level, crops from farms can be used to consume and sell to assist farmer on their own families' properties. At the societal level, when open spaces
such
as parks are closed,
this
is more likely to contribute to the trend that people would go to sports centres among others to have their personal training. It can translate into using facilities which charge residents to sustain and upgrade through the active time.
Thus
,
this
not only boosts one's economy
on the contrary
also
provides funding for enterprises. In conclusion, though sites for serving daily activities
such
as parks may have their own downsides, I lean towards the benefits that accrue from are far weightier.

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task achievement
Make sure to consistently use precise vocabulary and avoid ambiguity. Consider rephrasing 'the proliferation of amenities' to something more specific. Ensure your ideas are clearly and succinctly presented.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of your ideas throughout the essay. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and presents the issue in a well-structured manner, effectively setting the stage for the discussion.
supported main points
You provided specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument, such as the Vietnam example.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban Agriculture
  • Community Engagement
  • Social Interaction
  • Physical Exercise
  • Mental Relaxation
  • Fresh Produce
  • Sustainability
  • Biodiversity
  • Carbon Footprint
  • Air Quality
  • Educational Opportunities
  • Horticulture
  • Teamwork
  • Sustainable Living
  • Food Security
  • Locally-grown
  • Nutritious
  • Neighborhood Bonds
  • Urban Sustainability
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