Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and given your own opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #adults

In today's competitive world, some people believe that children's

sense

competition

should be stimulated,

whereas

others

think that cooperative kids are able to become worthy adults.

However

, I would like to argue that

cooperations

Fix the agreement mistake

cooperation

show examples

among kids are required to spread love and

prosperous

Replace the word

prosperity

show examples

This

essay will discuss both views and highlight my opinion. On the one hand, children's cooperation in their childhood could sculpt them as useful adults.

Competition

is an essential part among people which cheers communities to

involve

Wrong verb form

involved

show examples

in an achievement battle.

Moreover

, folks should concentrate only on their victory and not on

others

Change noun form

others'

other's

show examples

defeat. Every

competitors

Change to a singular noun

competitor

show examples

should play their game with

friendly

Add an article

a friendly

show examples

attitude.

For instance

, a person who

Change the verb form

accepts

show examples

his own defeat and

celebrate

Change the verb form

celebrates

show examples

winner's

Correct article usage

the winner's

show examples

success is a real winner.

Eventhough

Correct your spelling

Even though

the person achieved something in a corrupted way, it is considered trash.

On the other hand

sense

Correct article usage

a sense

show examples

competition

shouldn't be motivated unless the person is

matured

Replace the word

mature

show examples

enough to think genuinely.

In addition

this

, Injecting

competitive

Correct article usage

a competitive

show examples

sense

could shape

child

Add an article

a child

show examples

to react in

inappropriate

Change the article

an inappropriate

show examples

manner.

For example

, if the children's one and only target is winning, their minds can think outside the positive box. Despite

this

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

numerous amount of kids exist who never use any faulty tricks to decline

others

Sense

competition

can be encouraged a bit, but need to assure that it shouldn't be

misused

Correct your spelling

missed

show examples

. In conclusion, I would like to argue that

competition

should be taken

easy

Change the word

easily

show examples

. Losers are not meant to be useless, they just need more practice.

Moreover

, no matter what

others

think, we are trying. Consolation prizes should be awarded to each and every

participation

Replace the word

participant

show examples

to make everyone feel happier.

Submitted by ananthaprasanth on Thu Feb 16 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and given your own opinion.

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Nowadays, children spend too much time watching TV and playing computer games. Some people believe this has negative effects on children's mental abilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?