The table shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufactures in the years 2005 and 2006.

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The table compares the percentage of producing mobile phones among companies in 2005 and 2006.

Overall

Linking Words

, Nokia was the biggest company in the mobile

market

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

BenQ Mobile was the least popular manufacturer, with a total per cent 100% in both years. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

2005 year, Nokia and Motorola represented the biggest per cent of the

market

Use synonyms

share, 32.5% and 17.7% respectively.

Similarly

Linking Words

, the figures for Samsung accounted for 12.7%,

whereas

Linking Words

LG showed 6.7%. Sony Ericsson company produced 6.3% of mobile phones and BenQ Mobile produced 4.9% with unknown companies constituting 19.2%.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, in 2006, Nokia was the largest producer of smartphones manufacturing 35% of the

market

Use synonyms

. The figures for Motorola and Sony Ericsson experienced an increase to 21.1% and 7.4% respectively. In comparison, the percentage of manufacturing of Samsung and LG declined, 11.8% for Samsung and 6.3% for LG. Other unknown manufacturers made up 16.2% of the

market

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

BenQ Mobile produced a small minority, only 2.4%.

zbirliknur01Sat Feb 18 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words market with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

158 words

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The table shows the worldwide market share of the mobile phone market for manufactures in the years 2005 and 2006.

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people feel that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in country side discuss both views and give your opinion.