Some people says that it is a waste of public money to spend on cultural events, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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During globalization,
people
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start to argue the importance of allocating more
money
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to cultural
events
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rather than other important things to spend. I believe that cultivating the
culture
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in
this
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time is crucial and
people
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should not leave the ancient
culture
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behind, so spending
money
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on cultural
events
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is considered important.
Firstly
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, spending public
money
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on cultural
events
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is considered a waste and unimportant.
For example
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, there are more crucial things
such
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as education development which need to be taken into account.
People
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think that developing the education of
society
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by spending
the
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apply
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public
money
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on it may have had more impact on
the
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apply
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civilization rather than conducting cultural
events
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.
For instance
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, increasing expenditure of
the
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apply
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regional scholarship for young generations is more beneficial compared with throwing a cultural event.
Besides
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the positive purpose of throwing a cultural event, public
money
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should be dispensed wisely by considering the impact, so spending
money
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on education fields is way more beneficial to
society
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. Contrarily, others believe that spending public
money
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on cultural
events
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is important as a solution to cultivate the
culture
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of forefathers which is crucial against globalization.
For example
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, it appears that ancient
culture
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started to disappear among civilizations because modernization shifted the values of
people
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. Young generations in Indonesia now
prefer
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prefer to
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listen to Korean Pop music rather than Indonesian music. It can be seen that Korean
culture
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shifted the regional
culture
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from Indonesian
society
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, especially among teenagers. Conducting cultural
events
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with public
money
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is not considered a waste because it comes as a solution for the extinction possibility of ancient
culture
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. Correspondingly, I do believe that spending public
money
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on cultural
events
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is a positive development to cultivate the ancient
culture
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in the
society
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. In conclusion, I personally agree that the utilization of public
money
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should be wisely spent, and I believe that spending public
money
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on cultural
events
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is not a waste.
Submitted by muhammad.alfarasyi on

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task achievement
Make sure to elaborate more on your points, especially when addressing the counterarguments. This will make your essay more balanced and thorough.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay is well-structured, using a wider range of linking words can improve the flow and connection between your points.
task achievement
Try to include more nuanced examples and analyses to support your argument. This can strengthen your overall response.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly presents the issue and your opinion, which sets a strong foundation for the essay.
relevant specific examples
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, which enhances the credibility of your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your opinion, making your essay feel complete.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocating
  • pressing needs
  • prioritized
  • non-essential
  • luxury
  • taxpayers' money
  • economic hardship
  • underfunded
  • proponents
  • cultural heritage
  • social cohesion
  • boosting tourism
  • enrich
  • educational opportunities
  • fostering
  • sense of pride
  • encouraging unity
  • diverse groups
  • positive economic impact
  • attracting tourists
  • stimulating local economies
  • foundational sectors
  • adequately funded
  • integral part
  • nation's identity
  • accessible platform
  • engaging with
  • appreciating
  • returns
  • initial investment
  • worthwhile
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