These days people prefer to watch live performances (shows, concerts) through tv or computer, online rather than go to the place of that event. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #performances #concerts #tv #computer #place #event

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Today many people prefer watching live shows and concerts at home on

Correct your spelling

show examples

or computer

instead

of doing it in reality. I agree that

mostly

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most

show examples

people watch content at home and

i'm

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I'm

show examples

going to explain that in my essay.

First

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The first

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reason is that

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isit

wasit

show examples

comfortable

Change preposition

for

show examples

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

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because a lot of people can't go to concerts in real life

due to

that many of

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

events going

Change preposition

on in

show examples

other cities or countries.

Also

sometimes even if that event happens in local area tickets

usually

Add a missing verb

are usually

show examples

expensive and

number

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a number

the number

show examples

of them

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

really small so the only way to watch

show

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the show

a show

show examples

is only by

or computer. In my city

for example

when popular artists like Kairat Nurtas,

Dimash

Correct word choice

and Dimash

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are making a concert tickets usually

sells

Correct subject-verb agreement

sell

show examples

quickly and you need to watch at home.

Second

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The second

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reason is cost many individuals can't afford

such

expenses and because of

that

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,that

show examples

they need to watch it on

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show examples

. Prices are big usually and especially for

Correct article usage

a stars

show examples

stars

Fix the agreement mistake

star

show examples

show

however

prices can even double or triple if

concert

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the concert

show examples

will be

Wrong verb form

show examples

soon.

This

ofcourse

Correct your spelling

of course

understandable

due to

rent

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the rent

show examples

place

Correct article usage

the place

show examples

for

Correct article usage

the event

show examples

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

or other needs of

show

Add an article

the show

show examples

. I

belive

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believe

show examples

that many individuals get through

this

experience in their

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own

show examples

life so they know what

i'm

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I'm

show examples

talking about. In

conclusion

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,conclusion

show examples

I can say that because of reasons that I already noticed in paragraphs above like cost and comfort watching shows on

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show examples

or computer is

common

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a common

the common

show examples

thing in our world today and I

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that

this

trend will continue in future decades.

Submitted by Abdu.abetayev on Fri Feb 24 2023

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Language

The essay contains a number of grammatical errors and inconsistencies that could be improved. Also, ensure that all sentences are relevant to the topic. Spend some time refining your grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity and cohesion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to articulate the main ideas of each paragraph more clearly. Use transition words and phrases to help the reader follow your argument.

Task Achievement

Use specific examples to support your points. This will make your essay more compelling and help to explain your arguments more clearly.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

live performance
streaming
mobility issues
busy schedules
substantially cheaper
broadens cultural horizons
customize their environment
electric atmosphere
social interaction
technical issues
immersive experience

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These days people prefer to watch live performances (shows, concerts) through tv or computer, online rather than go to the place of that event. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In some countries even though the rate of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the cause of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Some people believe that a natural ability is needed to be successful at sport, others believe that hardwork and discipline is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Use relevant ideas and examples

Fresh water has become a global problem for the world.What are the causes of it.What meaaures government and individual should take to resolve to the problem?Give reaaon e.g for your answer :