IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries young people are encouraged to travel or work for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

#countries #people #travel #work #year #school #university #studies
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent decades, some nations encourage high
school
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 to
travel
Use synonyms
 or
work
Use synonyms
 before they enrol in post-secondary schools. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 it would be beneficial for them to obtain direct
experiences
Use synonyms
 through
travel
Use synonyms
 or
work
Use synonyms
 there are some drawbacks to these
experiences
Use synonyms
. First of all, if high
school
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 are allowed to
travel
Use synonyms
 around the world prior to university study, it cannot be denied that it enables them to have a wider vision
as well as
Linking Words
 inspiration to the world. The
experiences
Use synonyms
 of going overseas, communicating with other races, and looking at historical monuments of other countries provide the students with higher levels of knowledge which is difficult to acquire within the fundamental subjects.
However
Linking Words
, as they spend another year travelling around after high
school
Use synonyms
 graduation, they could feel getting behind in terms of ordinary university curriculums.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some federations require high
school
Use synonyms
graduates
Use synonyms
 to engage in actual
work
Use synonyms
experiences
Use synonyms
 since it is significantly important for them to recognize whether the students are interested in the sector or not through direct participation.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, if it is different from what they thought about the industry, the longer time than they expected would be required to find another field suitable for them. Another disadvantage of
this
Linking Words
 is as they participate in actual
work
Use synonyms
 with basic knowledge of the field from high
school
Use synonyms
 education, it is comparatively burdensome to adapt to
work
Use synonyms
 for
graduates
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, Students who are having difficulty making a decision to
travel
Use synonyms
 or
work
Use synonyms
 during the term should consider carefully depending on these drawbacks and benefits.
Submitted by mix5777 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: