In some countries fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their product. Do you think it’s a positive or negative development of children ?
It is argued that supermarkets and fast
food
restaurants
pay schools for advertising their product. This
essay totally disagrees with that statement. I believe young adults and children
should have a
possibility to make their own decisions about what they want to eat and Correct article usage
the
school
as a public place does not have the right to prohibit any advertising, even junk food
. In addition
, money
for promotion can be used to improve school
conditions.
Children
should see fast food
restaurants
and restaurant advertisements in school
and additionally
should be aware of the consequences how unhealthy food
. What's more the teacher in a school
should be a role model for students and promote a healthy lifestyle, every child has the ability to make their own choices. During the school
year, children
should create healthy habits and be aware of how fast-food
restaurants
can impact their lives.
Schools for promotion of fast food
restaurants
and supermarkets earn some amount of money
. School
principals and teachers can spend some amount of money
on building improvement or can buy some additional things for children
. Every single penny is important , especially in a public school
, so educational institutions should use every possibility to help their students and raise the level of education. It is very important because can help children
achieve better marks and get better jobs in future.
In conclusion, promoting fast food
restaurants
and supermarkets in a school
is generally a good idea. It is a great possibility for a school
to earn additional money
and allows children
to make their own decisions about their diet. When children
achieve a proper level of knowledge, they should be aware of eating junk food
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task achievement
While your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, it would benefit from including more specific examples to support your points. Specific examples can strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your ideas are more clearly organized and logically structured. Transitions between points could be smoother to improve the overall coherence. Consider using more paragraphing to separate different points and arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the main points of your essay. This helps to frame your response well for the reader.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively and provides a complete response, discussing both the potential benefits and drawbacks.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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