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Writing Samples
Band 6

some teachers says international student exchange program would be beneficial for all teenage school students. do you think its adVAntage will outweigh the disadvantage.

#teachers #student #exchange #program #school #students #advantage
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A number of tutors have the idea that if the pupils exchange between some countries there are several merits for all adolescent school
students
Use synonyms
. in
this
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 essay, we want to discuss the positive and negative points of
this
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 view. on the one hand, many commentators justifiably
argues
Change the verb form
argue
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 that there are some advantages to exchange
students
Use synonyms
. from
this
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 point of view, they believe that
this
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 will happen
excellent
Correct article usage
an excellent
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 experience for all
students
Use synonyms
.
on
Change preposition
In
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
words
Add a comma
,words
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 each international pupils have a specific experience from their region and they can share it with other
students
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.
for example
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, a student from china is able to explain to other
students
Use synonyms
 their culture or the amazing place in their country if he studies in the US.
however
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, I don't find
this
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 argument valid because all
students
Use synonyms
 find it easy
through
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to
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 explore
from
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apply
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the web.
on the other hand
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, there are those who subscribe to the view that the exchange international
students
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 are not beneficial to all
students
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.
firstly
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,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
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usually international
students
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 immigrate without family, so there is a threat to them. from an educational viewpoint, there are several psychological problems for
students
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 who are far away from their families.
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 the amount of stress rising significantly among them.
moreover
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, they are able to bring several ugly cultures into
a new countries
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new country
new countries
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so that
Correct word choice
apply
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,
I
Correct word choice
so I
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strongly disagree its positive aspects are noticeable. in conclusion,
although
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 there are some merits to exchanging international
students
Use synonyms
 for all adolescents, the negative
of
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apply
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points are far more as far from family and some threats in
new
Add an article
a new
the new
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region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
.
Submitted by amirhsina on

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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