IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, people increasingly talk about money such as how much they earn or how much they pay for things in their daily conversations. Why? Is this a positive or negative trend?

#countries #people #money #conversations #trend
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recently the phenomenon has aroused wide concern
is
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in
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people
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people's
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 growing popularity talk about the ways to earn
money
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 and their expenditure. in my opinion,
this
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 is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 good way to help
people
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 get a
lot
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 of
experiences
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experience
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 in financial and enhance
abilities
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their abilities
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 to maintain a balance between income and expenditure in their
life
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 no one can deny the fact that, listening
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to another
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another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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people
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 talk about their financial stories can help the hearer create many motivations to earn
money
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.
for
Capitalize word
For
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this
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 telling, they will make more
correctly
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correct
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 financial decisions and achieve more benefits than they do
in
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at
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this
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 moment and have more confidence in their
life
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.
For example
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, many
talkshows
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talk shows
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 of celebrities in VN present about the way
the
Correct article usage
apply
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success can help young
people
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 study a
lot
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 and follow them. another special consideration in
this
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 case
that
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is that
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people
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also
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 study a
lot
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 from successful
people
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 and avoid many mistakes in financial ways without undergoing
directly
Correct pronoun usage
them directly
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.
according
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toaccording
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this
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,
people
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 can diminish
times
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time
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 and
money
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 and spend more potentials to study and
experience
Wrong verb form
experiencing
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 many news in their
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. nothing could be more apparent than the evidence that, in many companies in VN, employers often train
for
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apply
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staffs
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staff
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to notice good values in managing correctly their
money
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 by learning from employers’s
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
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 in conversations in break of firms. in summary, it is important
for
Change preposition
to
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talking
Verb problem
have
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 a
lot
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 of conversations about how much
people
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 earn or how much they pay for things in their
life
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 because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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this
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 is one of
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 ways to help listeners
base
Wrong verb form
based
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 on their stories develop themself in their own way.
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • financial transparency
  • societal taboos
  • economic fluctuations
  • financial management
  • financial literacy
  • purchasing decisions
  • wealth glorification
  • economic stratification
  • social comparison
  • peer pressure
  • income disparity
What to do next:
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